Insomnia at 800 months prego

No, seriously...I feel like I've been pregnant for that long.  But I guess that's what happens when you find out you're prego 2 weeks in.  You would think that, at this point in my pregnancy, I'd be COMPLETELY exhausted and want to sleep all the time.  NOPE.  The past few nights have been pretty crappy for sleep.  Whatev...things could be worse...I mean, after all it is Shark Week so at least I have something to watch when I can't sleep.  Lets play a little catch up, shall we:

It's been forev, I know
We're having a girl and her name is Willa
I directed Les Mis this summer, and show week was one of the hottest weeks on record...in a high school auditorium with NO AIR CONDITIONING
London is 7 for craps sake
Yes, my boobs are getting bigger
I keep having dreams about delivering Willa, she always has tons of black hair
WE WILL BE IN THE NEW HOUSE BEFORE THE BABY IS BORN...damnit...
I have baby feet in my ribs right now
I'm working at an autobody shop up the street...meh...
Peeing all the time is getting SUPER annoying
I'm not really sure how to get my pitbull pup to stop sleeping in between me and bobby after the baby comes
Me and London started reading Harry Potter, and by that I mean I've read 175 pgs in the first book and she has read 4
We're doing Guys & Dolls next summer
I'm chubby
Maternity bathing suits are STUPID and mostly ugly
I wonder if anyone will read this blog post, please comment if you do
London told me tonight that she hates Justin Bieber now because his haircut is stupid
Here's a belly pic:

I think I'm winning ;)

Guess What???

This chick is finally prego!!  It's about goddamn time, right?  Ok, so that's the good news...the bad news is that I'm not due until the beginning of October, and that's REALLY far a way.  We're super excited!  You know what's not super exciting?  Pregnancy related insomnia.  That fucking blows. 

For the past 2 nights I have been pretty much unable to get comfortable in my bed.  I tried reading my book for a little while.  Then checking everyone's facebook status.  Then catching up on twitter.  Last but not least, I played puzzle gems on my iPhone for a while.  This last one almost always works for me...but no dice.

So here I sit.  Very happy to be pregnant, but super pissed to not be sleeping.  And, seriously, like 4 days ago, all I wanted to do was sleep.  I was exhausted all the time.  Oh the things we mothers go thru for our children...

You question my "Craptastic Luck"? Well this one's for you...

Slacker = ME.  Hopefully this little gem of a story will make up for how long it's been since I posted last...

Here's what we already know:

my blood pressure is ridic
I recently quit smoking
I want to be prego
my cardiologist is ADORABLE (oh...didn't I mention?  It's irrelevant really)
I have a cervix that does not want to cooperate

Like a month and a half ago I had a few Dr's appt's scheduled.  I was scheduled for a blood pressure check, a sonogram on my heart (EKG), and a super gross ob/gyn procedure.  Let me paint you a little picture...

My lovely little Arianne works at my ob/gyn and the reason we scheduled the appt when we did was because of my stupid period.  Because I have been sooooo regular (you know...menstrually) lately, we planned this appointment to be a week after my period was supposed to begin.  It was a good idea at the time, right?

Cut to the week before the appointment.  Monday: didn't get my period.  Tuesday: didn't get my period.  Wednesday: didn't get my period.  You get the idea.  Arianne and I discussed this during the week and the weekend.  When Monday rolled around and I still wasn't bleeding, I called Arianne and she told me that the Dr wanted me to take a prego test before we did the procedure.  This made sense to me...since I was a week late after I had been sooo regular.  OMG...I COULD BE PREGO RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.  Holy balls.

Lets analyze this for a second.  I've been SUPER regular for the past several months.  I'm talking...REGULAR...like to the day.  So this feels kind of like the real deal.  I mean, I'm currently a week late.  A WHOLE WEEK.  I haven't even been a day late in the past 4 months.  Ok, calm yourself Tara Lynn.  So I head over to Arianne's office.  The girls in the front office know that I'm a retard and take me back to Arianne.  I sit down, and we shoot the shit for a few minutes, then she hands me the pee cup.  ALL OF A SUDDEN...shit gets real.  Ok.  I can do this.  Just pee.  I pee ALL THE DAMN TIME.  I can do this.  So we start walking to the bathroom.  As a joke, I say, "wouldn't it be HILARIOUS if just as I sit down to take the prego test I get my period?!"  To which Arianne says something to the effect of,  I'll punch you in the face.  Yeah. 

I take that cup and strut into the bathroom...with 'tude.  I've been waiting for like an hour and a half to pee.  I've got this.  My biggest concern is peeing too much in the cup, since I've been waiting a while to pee.

Ok.  I think that's enough pee in the cup...let's not over-do it.  Now I'm rushing, because I want to get the cup out to Arianne so she can take it and test it.  I WHIP the cup up to put the lid on it and hand it off.  This is the moment that I glance at the cup...and notice what's floating in it.

REALLY?!  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  Little flecks of reddish things floating around in it.  REALLY?!  This floors me.  Then I remember...HEY TAR, WIPE.  I wipe, and it comes up RED.

To sum up...I didn't get my period until I was taking a pregnancy test at the ob/gyn's office.  SERIOUSLY.  Would this happen to anyone other than me?  I don't think so.

Oh, BTW, happy friggin new year bitches.

Testing the waters...

Anybody there?  Anybody still read this poorly maintained blog of mine?  I finally have a free minute and got our internet fixed.  Maybe I should post something...or am I the only one who remembers  this blog is here?

My Name is Tara Mitchell...and I am a NON-SMOKER

Could it be true?  How is this possible?  Well I'll tell you...

I had a checkup with my regular doctor...because I'm an old lady and have been on blood pressure meds since college.  Surprise surprise...my BP was up.  Like...really high.  Like...my Dr was worried I would stroke out.  Whatev.  Now me and the hubby are trying to get prego...we know this.  Here's what my Dr told me, "A fetus can not survive in your body right now."  I swear...word for word.  Wow.  Reality check.  So in order to get my body all ready for babytime I had to quit smoking and cut out salt.  SALT!!  I love salty things.  But I'd trade salt for a baby...and I did.

I said to my Dr...FINE...I'll quit smoking, but I'm gonna need some prescription assistance.  First he prescribed Channtix...but my stupid insurance wouldn't cover it and it would have cost me $160...EFF THAT NOISE.  So I emailed the Dr office and they changed it to a patch.  They are pretty expensive too, but beggars can't be choosers I guess.  Got the patch and slapped it on.  I'm proud to say that I haven't had a smoke since October 8 at about 11:00am.  THIS IS A HUGE DEAL.

What's up Twitter?!

Yup, started a twitter account yesterday.  Follow my ass (taramitchell01)...and comment on junk PLEASE...I feel like a loser.

How bored am I...

Well I'll tell you how bored I am right now...I'm watching ANACONDA...that's how friggin bored I am.  It's my own damn fault...I thought it would be a great idea to take a nappy today, and now I can't sleep.  There's friggin NOTHING on tv right now...except for Anaconda.  Do you people realize how terrible this movie is?  The special effects are laughable at best.  Jlo is TERRIBLE.  Jon Voigt had to be struggling for work BIG TIME for him to take this role.  I am somewhat enjoying Ice Cube though.  Did you even know Eric Stoltz was in this movie?  Or Owen Wilson?  Well I didn't.

Here's the hilarious part.  Snakes royally freak me out.  I'm almost 30 years old for crap sake, but I can still have a good old fashioned snake nightmare.  This movie is entirely about snakes, naturally you would think it would be something that I don't want to watch.  But, literally, the snake is so hilariously fake that it's comedic. 

Did I mention that Jennifer Lopez's ass is ENORMOUS?  I mean, we all know that Jenny from the Block has a huge ass, but safari shorts do NOTHING for her. 

Oh...and another thing...

I want to learn how to knit stuff.  My nana taught me how to knit when I was a kid and I liked it.  I figure this will kill 2 birds with one stone...it'll give me a hobby, and keep me from spending money on stuff because I can try to make it myself.  Aren't you proud of me?!

Now here's something to get excited about...Sons of Anarchy is on tonight!!!  This is a BIG deal.  Have you watched this show?  If the answer is no, you're a retard and I hate you.  Want to know the best part?  I'm obsessed with the lead guy, Jacks, and guess what his girlfriends name is...yup, you guessed it, TARA.  Hows' that for exciting?  I may have blogged about this earlier but I can't friggin remember crap.  SERIOUSLY...watch it.  I think it's on at 10:00 EST on FX.  Now do your homework kiddies so we can discuss this tomorrow...

2 blog posts in one day...can you stand it?!

Fucking Irritated

So I  typed up this whole long post about this super cute website that I discovered this morning and how I need to design tattoos for me and Bobby, and I was all ready to publish it and fucking BLOGSPOT took a HUGE crap and didn't save any of the post and promptly kicked me out.  I thought, "Ok, well it usually saves every couple of seconds, maybe my post only lost like the last couple of sentences..."

NOPE, only saved the first effing paragraph.  SERIOUSLY.  Get it together blopspot...I'm annoyed...

Time for another random thoughts post...

Zombieland is one of the most hilarious movies EVER.  Watch it.

I'm going to be 30 in a few weeks...and I'm not happy about it.

FYI still not prego.  My uterus hates me.

Yesterday I swept and mopped the floors and then Lola took a big crap in the living room.  Was she waiting until I was done because she didn't want to bother me until I was in the tub and London screamed from the steps that there was poop downstairs?  Bitch.

This is the story of my life, "We just hired someone else, but we'll give you a call if it doesn't work out."

Funny story about last night:  I had a giftcard for Applebees from the lovely folks at Front & Centre Productions, so we decided to go out to eat last night.  We had a delish meal and Bobby was digging thru his wallet for the gift card, pulls it out, and realizes that it's actually for Ruby Tuesday...not Applebees.  Wow.


London and Bobby are playing in the Father Daughter golf tournament on sunday.  How stinkin cute is that?!

I totally barfed in my Uncles front yard monday morning as me and London were leaving to get on the train to come home.  Here's a little tip: don't chug an entire glass of ice water first thing in the morning after a night of beers and pong.  Apparently really cold water doesn't like my stomach first thing in the morning.  Totally embarrassing...

I am the tannest I have been since I went to Mexico in college

My chocolate lab HATES this time of year...it makes her skin really really itchy, and I feel bad for her

My pit-bull farts like a person

I consider myself a twilight fan...I went to see New Moon at midnight when it premiered, but I still haven't seen Eclipse.

I am getting really scared that I'm running out of Stephen King books to read.  This is a problem.  Mr King better be sitting at his computer writing another book right now...or I will be forced to start writing some letters...

Anybody want my cat?  She's cute and cuddly but she pees on stuff.

I HATE removing my eye makeup.  It burns my eyes and makes me angry.  I totally leave it on until the next time I shower.

My Aunt Mary peed her pants twice while I was visiting my Uncle.  She laughs so hard she pisses herself.  This is my godmother. 

I will be directing A Christmas Carol the weekend before Christmas.  I hope people audition for it.

I'm annoyed that my back hurts right now because that usually means that I'm getting my period.  GOD DAMN UTERUS.

London is officially a 1st grader.  Seriously?!  Wasn't she born like 3 days ago?

Ok...I think that's enough.  Happy Friday everyone...and SUCK IT.

I played 18 holes of golf...no...seriously

Can you just picture it?  Moi?  Golfing?  It totally happened.  Here's how it went down...

Last year my soon to be hubby and I were scheduled to play in the husband and wife golf tournament at the country club.  I was a little excited, I have to admit.  I had never golfed before, but I was promised a rowdy good time filled with beers and hilariousness.  Seriously, beers?  I'm totally in.  I think we were one of the last couples to sign up....but whatev.

Well...funny story...the friday before we were supposed to play last year, I biffed it on the sidewalk while walking my baby pitt and friggin broke my shoulder. I blogged about  the incident way back in the day.  You can check it out here.  Needless to say, I wasn't able to play last year.  So we signed up this year...and I steered clear of flip flops, rain and our sidewalk to make sure I didn't miss it this time around. 

A bunch of our friends were also playing in the tournament, and I was super excited to hang out with them, whiff a bunch of drives, drink beer, smoke cigs and LAUGH MY ASS OFF.  Cut to 2 days before the tournament...Bobby oh sooo casually mentions the couple that we'll be playing with.  Lets call them Matt and Sue.  (for you old high school friends of mine, you'll find the names funny)  SERIOUSLY?  I don't want to play anymore.  They are "acquaintances" to me, but my hubby knows them a little better.  SERIOUSLY?!  I'm pissed.  I thought we were playing with 2 good friends of ours.  The wife...who is so much like me...hilarious.  The husband...hilarious...likes to wear white pants and pink shirts, friggin awesome.  Nope...not playing with them.  Did I whine and complain to Bobby, you betcha.  Did I pout and stomp up the stairs...totally.  I'd like to make one thing clear...I don't dislike these people, I just don't know them well enough to be comfortable acting completely retarded in front of them.  And if you know anything about me, I enjoy being a fucktard.  Ok, enough of me being a brat...

There was a small glimmer of hope the morning of the tournament when we heard that the teams were uneven and there was a chance we could be put with our hilarious friends.  Of course I got my hopes up...I'm an idiot.  But as quickly as the silver lining popped up, it vanished.  So I sucked it up, walked up to the bar, bought a six pack for the front 9 and got into our golf cart.  (FYI I would like to mention that I should totally be putting laundry away and changing the sheets upstairs right now.  Eff that noise.)  The nice thing about teeing off the first hole is that I think I actually hit the ball.  The crappy thing is that after the first hole I pretty regularly whiffed it.  (for you non-golfers, whiffing means swinging REALLY HARD so you can hit the ball far far away...but completely missing it and kicking up a chunk of grass.  Good times.)  Here's the thing...if I had been playing with our good friends I would have whiffed it and promptly fell over laughing.  But we were playing with captain serious and his wife miss competitive.  It was embarrassing.  I was embarrassed.  It's really friggin rare for me to be embarrassed about anything.  (remind me to tell the story of how I barfed in my uncles front yard over the labor day weekend...that's a good embarrassing one)  But seriously...I was self conscious and totally deflated.

So basically this is how it continued for 18 holes.  Once in a while I would hit a good one and it would make me feel a little bit better.  Got a few beers in me and I wasn't as self conscious as I had been.  Here's a hilarious tid bit...at one point it started to rain, and we were separated from Matt and Sue on the fairway. So we sat in the cart until the rain slowed down.  When we re-joined the rest of our foursome, Miss Competitive had pulled on those plastic looking warm up pants.  You know what I'm talking about.  Did I mention she was wearing a visor?  Yeah.  What is it about golfing and visors that is sooo intimidating?  Not everyone can pull off the visor and not look retarded.  I, for one, can not rock the visor.  I can rock a hat with the best of them, but visors are not for this girl.  Can't explain it.  It's just one of  those things...like skinny jeans.  Can't do it.

I think my favorite moment on the course was when we were waiting to tee off and Matt and Sue busted out a snack.  I'm all for a good snack.  I think I had some salt and vinegar chips in our cart, they go great with Coors Lite.  So Captain Serious turns to me and asks me if I want some...wait for it...GRANOLA.  Here's how it went down:

CAPTAIN SERIOUS:  Do you want some granola Tara?

ME: Are you fucking serious?

CS: Yeah.  (holds bag of friggin granola towards me)

ME: No.

I was much too hard to hide my disapproval/repulsion in that moment.  I felt bad afterwards...but only for a second.  I mean, really...granola?  Why don't you hand me a power bar and some of that vitamin water while you're at it.  So between the granola, the visor, the plastic rain pants and the  constant yelling of fucking golf terminology like they were caddies on the PGA tour, I still made my way thru and completed my first round of 18 holes of golf.  But it wasn't a lost cause...can you believe we got third place in our division?  Yeah, me either.  Here are some after pics from our day.  They are all of me, bobby, and the people we wanted to play with that day:

Told you he loves pink shirts...

The Hilariousness that is "I didn't know I was pregnant"

I don't know if you've seen this show.  It's AMAZING.  Seriously...how can you not know that you're pregnant?  I GAINED 40 POUNDS FOR CRAPS SAKE!  Not to mention I had little baby elbows and feet poking out of my stomach.  But I digress...

One of my favorite things about the show is the actors that  they cast as the parents. These actors are exponentially more attractive than the actual people.  SERIOUSLY.  Here's another little gem...the majority of women on this show have had children before.  Don't give me that crap that every pregnancy is different blah blah blah.  If you don't get your period and the home pregnancy test comes up negative GO TO THE FUCKING DOCTOR AND HAVE A BLOOD TEST.

One of my personal favorite episodes is the when where the girl gives birth in the fast food restaurant bathroom.  It's gorgeous.  She just going about her normal shift working at the local McDonalds or whatever and goes to the bathroom and POOF...kid in the toilet.  One of her co-workers even whips off her shirt to wrap up the baby.  Hilarious.  Here's something that irritates me...all of these babies are born without any prenatal care or checkups...and ALL OF THEM are perfectly normal and healthy when they are born.  That's horseshit, but I guess it wouldn't make very good tv if there was something wrong with the baby...OR WOULD IT?

I'm terrible...I know.  Don't even get me started on Teen Mom.  That's a whole other post...

Gross Pregnancy and Labor Post

Whoever said that childbirth was beautiful was lying thru their fucking teeth.  Let's be honest...there are alot of gross things about being pregnant and giving birth. But have no fear...I am here to gross everyone out and tell the super gross details...

We'll start with morning sickness.  I totally thought I was in the clear.  Most women experience morning sickness in the very beginning of their pregnancies.  I found out I was pregnant when I was 6 weeks along.  Being young and naive, I thought I was in the clear.  Ahhh...to be young and foolish...needless to say, I woke up one morning and nausea PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE.  I was nauseous from the time I woke up in the morning to the time I finally fell asleep at night.  There is nothing worse than being nauseous...lets be honest.  Are you going to barf?  Aren't you?  It's hard to say.  Every kind of food repulsed me.  There were very few foods that didn't make me want to hurl.  But I was lucky.  Or maybe I wasn't.  I never used to be a big fan of barfing, but basically barfing makes you feel better, right?  For 2 weeks straight I was nauseous...but I never threw up.  I had saltines on my nightstand and would eat one before my feet ever touched the floor in the morning.  I would take saltines to work with me...and Rolaids.  They didn't seem to do much good.  For days and days this went on.  Then one night I was at home with AF and had to pee.  I went to the bathroom and took care of business.  When I wiped there was blood.  I was TOTALLY freaked out.  Of course I immediately called the Dr.  They scheduled me for an ultrasound right away.  The scariest thing was that the nausea immediately went away.  I was terrified that I was losing the baby.  But, the ultra sound was normal and the baby was fine.  For the rest of the pregnancy I wasn't nauseous, THANK CHRIST.

After this little hiccup, everything smoothed out.  My belly got bigger (as did everything else) and I sort of loved being pregnant.  I mean, aside from all the pills I had to take.  Those pre-natal vitamins are friggin horse pills!!!  It got to the point that I couldn't swallow them anymore and I made my OB/GYN prescribe chewable ones.  And those fuckers were full of iron...and you know what iron does to a digestive system?  Plugs that shit up.  (no pun intended)  Plus it makes your poop green.  And because of being all constipated and junk, there are hemorrhoids.  I always thought they were for old crabby men...but...nope, pregnant ladies get them.

So I was a high risk pregnancy.  Thanks mom and dad.  Crappy genes...that's what it boils down to.  I've had high blood pressure since I was in college and that doesn't make for a happy pregnancy.  Basically I had 3 non stress tests (when they slap the heart monitor to your belly to listen the the babies heart rate) and 1 ultra sound a week...for almost 15 wks.  Yeah.  Annoying...but necessary.  I'll skip ahead a month or so...

I had been feeling some, we'll call it "wetness", down below.  I figured this was normal since I've heard the prego's pee their pants a little all the time.  Then I mentioned it to someone that I worked with at the time, and she said that I should tell the Dr about it.  So I headed to one of my many Dr appointments and told my Dr.  He freaked out...took a sample of whatever it was...and claimed that it could be amniotic fluid and I had to be rushed, by ambulance, to Geisinger (the nearest hospital with a neo-natal-intensive care unit) for precaution.  SERIOUSLY?  All I want to do is go home, watch tv, then go to bed.  But that isn't what happened.  After the nurses made me pee (cause it's a long ride) I was whisked away in the ambulance to Geisinger.

A million Dr's examined me.  Woke me up in the middle of the night to give me steroid shots to advance the baby's lungs.  Did fancy schmancy ultra sounds on flat screens.  Told me that the baby would be born in 24-48 hours (I was only like 30 weeks for CHRIST SAKE).  I slowly started to lose my shit.  But I never had a contraction...and eventually they let me go home.

Thing returned to normal.  I went to my Dr appointments.  I went to work.  I took it easy at home.  I experienced heartburn for the first time, thought I was in labor...and got up the next morning, like a champ, and continued on with my day.  I LOVED being pregnant and can't wait to do it again...

On a thursday I went on a normal Dr appointment.  They checked me, and I was dilated 2 centimeters.  I was sent over to the hospital for a non-stress test, which happened all the time.  As usual, I was hooked up the the heart monitor...did the test and sat there waiting for the nurse to come in and unhook me.  I'm watching tv, doing my usual routine when the nurse comes in.  She then says, as conversational as she would talk about American Idol, that she is going to hook me up to the pitossin now and put in my catheter.  HUH?!  I'm sorry...WHAT?!  Apparently my Dr felt that my blood pressure was too high and they needed to induce labor NOW (I was 37 weeks).  Really?  It would have been nice to get some warning.  They were hooking me up to the inducing drug as well as magnesium (which is supposed to bring down my blood pressure).  Not to mention putting in a catheter...which meant, that if I had to go number 2, it would be in a bedpan.  NOT COOL.

I made the necessary phone calls and succumbed to the impending "hook-ups".  Let me tell you that having a catheter put in is no picnic.  But once you get past the super weird feeling, it's a lazy girls paradise.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET UP TO PEE!!   I was induced at 7:00pm on a Thursday.  At 9:00am the next morning I wasn't any further along.  AF left the hospital to run home and let the dog out.  Right after he left my Dr came in to talk to me.  As if he was talking about picking out his clothes for the day, he told me that he was going to break my water...and that's when all hell broke loose...

This is a long friggin story and I'm pooped.  I'll finish it another day...maybe.

Fellow blogger I am obsessed with

There is this blog that I read almost every day.  I'm not sure how I stumbled across her, I think she was a blogger of note a while back...and I began to stalk her.  She's very dainty, precious, quirky and overall...adorable. Check her out at nat the fat rat...I'll wait.

I think that my obsession with her thoughts has grown over the past few months because she, like myself, had been obsessed with getting pregnant.  She is lucky enough to currently be prego.  I think she's about halfway thru her pregnancy.  Damn I'm jealous...but I digress...

Plus she has 2 dogs and her and her husband (who is absolutely adorable) totally freak out over them as me and my equally adorable hubby do with out crazy pups.  Dog people always seem to connect...don't you think?

Here's the funny thing, the two of us couldn't be more different.  I'm loud.  I swear...constantly.  A lot of the time...I'm totally inappropriate.  I feel like she is the exact opposite.  The perfect hostess.  Captain America of interior decorating.  Respective and disciplined when it comes to religion.  Always spellchecks her blog posts before posting them.  In my opinion...we couldn't be more different.  I think I wish I had her sense of adorable craftiness.  I am crafty at certain things...like stage makeup and crazy hair do's.  But when it comes to be a homemaker...I need a degree in the School of Natalie.

There is another thing that both of us have in common.  This...is...LAZINESS.  Not just any laziness...but the type of laziness that crushes you and renders you unable to move from one side of the couch to another.  Much like dog people gravitate toward each other...lazy ladies bond quickly.  Even if they have never met.

I encourage you to pop on over and check her out.  Don't worry.  If you're still in the need of some dirrty jerz style swearing and inappropriateness...I'll still be here...

Correction to the Stephen King post

It has been brought to my attention that I made an error in my post about Stephen King.  Apparently I stated that I bought the first couple of Dark Tower books...when in fact my wonderful husband bought them for me for Christmas last year.

I apologize...and...SUCK IT.

Guess what time it is??

No really...guess.  It's 2:33am...and I'm hopelessly awake.  Layla, Lola, London and Bobby are fast asleep.  Me and the circus kitty are  the only ones awake.  And I'm pretty sure the only reason the kitty is awake is because there is a moth flying around the living room and she is determined to bring it to a long nap in her belly.

Ok, so I slept in today.  But really...lets be honest...this is no different than any other day.  I did the same things at bedtime that I usually do.  I stayed up later than Bobby.  Brushed my teeth and got my jams on.  Attempted to get into bed without waking the puppy...but ended up having to slide her puppy butt off my pillow and into the middle of the bed.  Read my Stephen King book with the flashlight app on my iPhone.  Got tired of reading and played a puzzle game on my iPhone.  Then...thought I was sleepy, turned off the phone and rolled over.  NOTHIN.  No sleepyness.  So, I thought it was because my neck was sore and I flopped my pillows around a bit.  Tried again...nada.  So I decided to flip thru Facebook statuses on my phone.  This made me sad because tonight was the opening night for Eclipse and I wasn't sitting in the theatre crying and yelling at the screen shortly after midnight as I did when New Moon opened.  So I tried to watch tv.  I have this silly habit of not being able to fall asleep unless there is something on that I've seen a million times.  So I turned on the dvd player and settled to watch some Family Guy (even though I'm still pretty pissed at Seth MacFarlane).  I laid there for a while...nope.  Maybe I had to pee.  Got up, hauled my cookies to the bathroom (after peeking a look at my little London) took care of business and went back to bed.

After about an hour and a half of this nonsense, I threw the covers off with a HUFF and sulked downstairs to pick up the computer.  Here I sit...so here is some nonsense about my day:

I bought a new coffee creamer the other day.  I'm a casual coffee drinker, but love this new creamer so it might be more of a regular thing now...even though my brother says it give you kidney stones.

Hadn't played Mario Galaxy 2 in a few days, that took up some time.

I tried to figure out how to download a youtube video to my desktop.  I was not successful.

Couldn't wait to get my baby girl back from her dad today.

I had leftover COLD fried chicken for lunch.  I just LOVE cold fried chicken.  Truth be told, I mostly picked off the crispy parts and threw most of the chicken away.

Yesterday I made an appointment for a pedicure and a color appointment for my hair.  This made me feel fancy.

Ran into a friend at CVS while I was printing the last of our wedding thank you card/pics.  Yes...my wedding was in April.  Yes...it is almost July.  Don't act like your shocked...I AM A SLACKER.

How friggin awesome is it that Lipton Iced Tea now comes in those huge jugs with the handle now?!  I'm pretty sure I drank both of them completely by myself.

I'm peeing in my pants excited about this weekends 4th of July Bash at good old Lake Tranquility in dirrty jerz.  You really should be jealous...and if you're not, I hate you.

As I've been typing these sentences of nonsense, I've yawned like 5 times.  Yet I am still not sleepy-time tired.  Know what I mean?  Now Layla is awake.  I think the kitty was meowing at the moth too loud.  She's pissed.  Should I play Mario Galaxy to make me sleepy?  What if I get annoyed that I can't beat a level and it makes me more awake than I am right now?  If I had a job this would never happen.  I'd be all tired from working all day than directing a 2 1/2 hour rehearsal.  (I just have to mention that the cat just tried to jump on the wall to get the moth...but the moth had landed on a picture frame an when she jumped on it, it started swinging side to side and she fell.  What a retard.)

OMG...DID I MENTION THAT BOBBY BOUGHT OUR TICKETS FOR PARAMORE YESTERDAY??!!!  I can't believe that I forgot to mention such a thing.  They are my fav band EVER and he got tickets to see them in Hershey in August as an early birthday present to me.  Don't I just have the best hubby ever?!

Now how can I possibly sleep after remembering that excitement.

My Love Affair with Mr. Stephen King

I can't remember the first Stephen King book that I ever read.  But I can't remember a time that I wasn't reading one.  When I was a kid, we took a family vacation to Myrtle Beach.  A couple of weeks before we were supposed to leave my mom got sick and ended up having to have her gall bladder and appendix removed.  This was back in the day before they did it laproscopicly (no idea how to spell that), you know, poking 2 little holes in the belly and sucking it thru a tube instead of slicing you open.  She still has a big ass scar.  Mom was worried about making the 13 hour drive after having surgery but the doctors said it was fine...after she had the staples removed.  To pass the time, mom told the doctors that she had a book to read and that would keep her busy in the car.  This book was Stephen Kings IT.  Now if any of you know the book, you know how friggin long it is.  As far as I'm concerned, the longer the better.

My mom told me another King related story from before I was born.  My mom was prego with my brother, and they were living with my dads parents (Nana and Poppop).  She was reading The Shining during the pregnancy.  Nana used to tell her that it would hurt the fetus because it was soo scary.  lol.  Old people....they're crazy.  I was at a friends house when I was a kid and the mini series of IT was on tv.  This is the main reason that I am TERRIFIED of clowns to this day.

I usually go in spurts of reading.  With the exception of the Twilight Series (don't friggin laugh...I made my mom read them too and she LOVED them) King is the only author I read.  Well that's not true...I read Dan Brown too, but he doesn't swear as much as King...and I enjoy the swearing.  Here are a few of his books that I've read over the years:

'Salem's Lot
Bag of Bones
Cell
Dolores Claiborne
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
Insomnia
IT
Lisey's Story
Misery
Pet Sematary
The Shining
The Stand
The Tommyknockers
Under the Dome
Dark Tower: The Gunslinger
Dark Tower: The Drawing of the Three
Dark Tower: The Waste Lands
Dark Tower: Wizard and Glass
Dark Tower: The Wolves of the Calla
Dark Tower: The Song of Susannah

I LOVE the way he writes.  On of my most favorite books ever is The Stand.  It's one of his longer ones but I just loved it.  The characters, the fucked up plot twists, the creepy bad guys...all of it.  His latest, Under The Dome, is a very close second.  Hugely long, but amazing.  Seriously, how does this guy come up with some of this crap?  My latest reading endeavor has been the Dark Tower Series.  A few years ago, my now ex-sister in law asked me if I had read them (she loves Stephen King too).  I thought they were about dungeons and dragons crap, but she said that they weren't and it was worth the read.


After I finished Under the Dome, I figured...what the hell, I'll give it a whirl.  The first book in the series, The Gunslinger, was a little rough to get thru.  It was kind of like a western set in medieval times.  But I made it thru...mostly because I had already bought the next 2 books.  Holy crap...second book, The Drawing of the Three, FUCKING AMAZING.  There was all this time travel to the 1990's and the 1960's, multiple personalities, drugs, crazy mutated lobster monsters...just...awesome.  The following books just keep getting better.  I think what I like best about these books, is that a little more than halfway thru the series (I think) King creates tie ins to some of his other books like The Stand, but mainly 'Salems Lot.  "Lot" ends up playing a major role in the final books.  As does King himself.  I LOVE THIS SHIT.  He wrote himself into the fucking story.  But I won't go any farther into how it effects the story since I don't want to risk a spoiler.

There are a total of 7 books in the series.  I just finished the 6th last night.  One more left...and I'm sad.  I don't want this adventure to end.  I keep telling Bobby this, saying I don't know what I'm going to read next.  Harry Potter came up, but I said to Bob, "What if  I don't like the way she writes?  Plus, I'm sure there's no sex or swearing in Harry Potter."  No one writes like Stephen King.  I realize that I have a bunch of his books that I haven't read yet...but I want more Dark Tower!!!!!  Maybe I should start writing crazy fan letters to him.  I doubt that would get me anywhere.  I'm still a little pissed at Seth MacFarlane for not writing back to me...I don't know if I could handle being dissed by The Almighty Stephen King.

I encourage EVERYONE to read his books.  What do you like?  Vampires?  Crazy twin stealing (and later turning them into...well...GIANT retards) Wolves? Cell phones ruining the world?  Flu viruses killing off the entire American population?  Dimension hopping while sleeping on a plane?  Really...there's something for everyone.  If we didn't have to name our first born son after Bobby's dad, I would totally name him Roland.

The Slump

I think that I'm actually sick of being lazy.  Can you imagine?  ME?!  But I am pretty sure that it's a terminal disease.  I know that I don't want to be a lump of poop but still can't seem to get myself moving.  I know what the problem is...there are a few actually.  Here's a couple examples:

1. I love to sleep.  It's a problem.  Ever since I was little I have hated getting up early.  No joke, my family used to have to wake me up Christmas morning.  Seriously.  Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that Tara HATES to get up early.  So I basically sleep the day away and that gives me even less motivation to do stuff.  You know, grown up stuff.

2. SUPER MARIO GALAXY 1 & 2.  These games were supposed to be for London, but really...mommy wanted to play them.  The really bad thing: London loves to sit on the couch while I play.  She'll just sit there for however long I decide to play and watch.  For my crazy 6 year old, this is amazing.  Most times SHE DOESN'T EVEN TALK!!  I mean, wow...just wow.

3. My dogs love to sleep.  They might just be the laziest pooches on the planet.  I mean...look at this:

Why would you want to wake this sleeping baby?!  (PS please notice the spots of paint on her legs.  Yup, she sat in the paint tray.  Retard.)

4. I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING JOB.  This is a problem for obvious reasons.

So these are just a few reasons why I suck at life.  Hopefully when I get pregnant it will give me a sense of purpose to get off my ass and get some shit done.

Thoughts?  Comments?

The Job Hunt Continues

So...I've been unemployed for almost a year.  Here a a few things that I would like to point out:

I've been actively looking for a job since the day I was laid off.  Within a month of being let go I had an interview lined up with ACCUweather.  Obviously...that didn't work out.

I've been on a number of interviews.  You know what's super annoying?  When you don't get an answer either way...after weeks of waiting.  Here's a funny story.  A few years ago I was interviewing for work, and landed an interview at a pretty fancy schmancy place.  I went thru the first round of interviews and it was pretty standard.  Then I was asked back for a second interview.  For this interview I was asked to prepare a presentation on medical equipment...that I had NO FRIGGIN IDEA how to operate or sell to a buyer.  But I busted my ass and put A LOT of time into the research and presentation.  I go into the interview.  Let me paint you a little picture.  I'm  in a conference room in Innovation Park in State College, with VP's and department heads.  After I present what I have prepared, there was a question and answer with the head honchos.  The only question that I can remember had something to do with having to take off on a business trip with very short notice.  I told them that I had no problem with that, with the exception that if my daughter was sick.  To this, I got a negative reaction from one of the VP's.  Now, I'm not sure if he had kids or not.  Let's hope that he doesn't from the way he reacted.  But I wasn't budging.  I looked this AHOLE in the eye and said that I wasn't going anywhere if my child was sick.  Well that really wasn't what he wanted to hear.  To recap...I put something like 10-14 hours in on this presentation.  I was proud of my work.  Do you think I got a phone call telling me that they were appreciative of my effort but they had chosen to go with another candidate?  NO.  Of course not.  I got a FUCKING FORM EMAIL...telling me that I hadn't gotten the job.  REALLY?!  This is how you thank the people that bust their asses FOR NOTHING?!  Oh...in case you were wondering if I would mention the name of the company...it's DRUCKER COMPANY in Philipsburg, PA.  Feel free to google and hate on them.

I look at the local classifieds every day.  I'm not a welder.  I'm not a truck driver.  I'm not a short order bar cook.  I'm not a nurse.  Nor do I have any desire to be any of these things.  There are no openings for me in the job market right now.  Should I try to win the lottery?  What happens when my unemployment runs out?  I REFUSE to ask for handouts from my husbands family.  It's a pride thing.

Here's the positive side of things.  With me not working...I have all my time to devote to the local theatre group that I am an Assistant Executive Producer for.  It is my passion, after all.  If I was working, I wouldn't be able to give my all.  But I worry about the long haul.  I worry about when I get pregnant (hopefully soon, if God wills it).  My husband has an amazing job but I can't shake the feeling that we will be paycheck to paycheck for the rest of our lives.  I guess this stems from how I've been living for so long.  I used to be such a goddamn optimist...and part of me still is...but not when it comes to money.

I always thought that I would breeze thru life.  Always having enough money to pay for whatever crossed my path.  My parents made it look soooo easy.  No fighting over bills and income.  I think that protecting me from these grown up struggles gave me a false representation of reality.  Or maybe it's just because I'm a grown up in a different place, a different world then where I grew up.  Whatever the reality is...I am dealing with it.  Wanna know what helps?  My absolutely amazing husband.  He's EXACTLY what I dreamed about when I was a little girl.  He's everything I expected in a marriage.  He does all the things my dad did for me.  He puts up with my ridiculous mood swings.  He disciplines London without me having to tell him.  He takes care of me in a way that I've never had.  He reconciles my checkbook!!!!  He handles all of London's fundraisers.  He lets me bitch about things that bother me and doesn't get mad.  He LOVES dirty jerz time!  He LOVES the muffin man and asks when we will see him again.  He's my night in shining armor and he makes me want to cook and clean for him.  For those of you who don't know me...the cooking and cleaning is a HUGE DEAL.  I HATE to be away from him.  I went on a "GIRLS RETREAT" a while ago and the whole time I was counting down the minutes til I could go home and be with him.  He's my best friend.  HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.  It feels soooo amazing to say that about my husband.  He's an amazing man.  I'm the luckiest wife EVER. 

Now...if I could only find a job...

I'm a loser

what's up bitches?!  I know.  I suck at life.  I haven't blogged in like a million years.  I've been a very busy girl.  Well...not really.  I'm just lazy.  Here are the things buzzing around my brain lately:

Is my sanity going to remain intact when school gets out?
Am I too fat to wear a bikini this summer?
When the CHRIST will I get pregnant?
How bad is it going to suck to quit smoking when I get pregnant?
What if I can't get pregnant?
Will we ever finish painting the inside of our house?
What happens if I can't find a job?
What happens when my unemployment runs out?
Ewwwww...I will be the mother of a 6yr old this week.  Why does she keep getting older?
I can't shake the eternal feeling that I will never have enough money. 
I'm still annoyed by things that I'm not allowed to bitch about.
Does my brother still hate me for being too hungover to drive to Jerz for the LOST finale?
Will anyone understand my reference to Jaws 3 in my latest Facebook Status?
Why am I so lazy?
Do I drink too much beer?
I love my pets.  Should I get rid of my kitty because she pees on stuff?
How do I get my kitty to stop peeing on stuff?
I miss the muffin man.
I never laugh as hard as I do when I'm with my fam in jerz.
There are NO JOBS IN CENTRAL PA.
I had a wonderful job once...and I wanted to work there until I was 80yrs old.
I get annoyed when I call my mom and she's too busy to talk to me because she's doing an excercise tape from 1989.
I'm not perfect...and I NEVER pretend to be.  This is why I hate FAKE people who like to pretend to impress people with their super fakeness.

Ok...maybe this is a lot to take in.  But i know that my beloved followers (few as they may be) can totally relate to my ridiculousness.  I promise to post more often (THERE BAXTER...QUIT HARASSING ME).

And as always...SUCK IT.

Finally!!

Apparently I clicked on something stupid and got rid of my toolbar.  Therefore...I couldn't post pics...and that's all I wanted to friggin do...post wedding pics.  Here we go:

My gorgeous centerpieces.

JUST MARRIED!!

Noticing an old friend in the crowd.  HI POOPIE!!

Notice my brother filming the ceremony (SHUT UP, I know these pics are going backward but whatev)

Walking into the reception.  Mr. and Mrs Robert Mitchell II!!

Our first dance.  Notice my mom and dad watching in the background.

One of my favs!

SHAKE IT G AND MEEM!!!

Look at those pretty ladies!!  MY GIRLS!

My baby girl is getting soooo big.

Pretty sure this is me laughing at my brothers Michael Jackson impression...

BAXXXXTERRRRRRR

So there you have it folks...stay tuned for artsy fartsy wedding dress pics my step dad in law took last week...